Deep thoughts, deep thoughts...

Autumn. i love autumn.
I love the way it is cold, with gorgeous leaves. I love the smell of coming winter. i love the way its spelled. i love the leaf piles that i can hide under.
I want colder weather. I want a hug.

photo borrowed from http://www.anundonecalm.com/2007/11/13/leaves/

OK.

GO.

New shampoo. amoung other things.

Sometimes, i feel like people intentionally stick an emotional fork into me. have too much to deal with to help other people other people. what with breaking up with my old boyfriend of a couple years, best friend going through a crisis, dog dying and trying to keep up a happy personality, i just get drug down. and then more stuff happens, that i feel like i should be taking care of. but i cant. im sorry. :(

I did get new shampoo. its purple. makes my hair pretty. smells. good.

Went to walmart today. got teddy grahams.

went to south indian concert. awesome 2.5 hours of indian violining/drumming.

so. tired.

love the new t-shirt. :D

is hell blue?

If it is, i am blue as hell.

A float.

Im in a mood again. its a lovely, quiet, lonely floating mood. i dont want to talk to anyone, just sit and listen to music, and the world. My eye is healing, and i am in a fantastic, alone kind of mood.
dont have many thoughts. Currently, i've fallen in love with a band shared with me by a friend- the tallest man on earth.


listen.

Music video!

while you have probably already have seen this, i was just reminded of this fantastic music video by Ok Go.


therefore.
you should watch it.

Goodbye

Goodbye.
Mariko Davison

About a day or two I’m gone,
the glimpse of life with me has left
and you will stand when I’ve withdrawn.
I’m sorry Dear, to leave bereft
your feelings, dreams and hopes. To move
again will feel the best, improve
(I hope) your state of mind quite soon,
When lonely, you can look to the moon,
beyond the stars and astroids tossed
across the night and think of me,
You know its better here Im free
I had the life now It is lost.
What you must do is not to cry,
And all you do is say Goodbye.

written in an onegin stanza, speaks to death, i guess.

Cooking

Tomorrow, Rachel and I are going to attempt to make dinner for some friends. cant wait, very excited, but theres just one problem...
i cannot cook well. at all.
i wish i had some recipes to go off of, but i dont. i think im going to try breaded chicken and see how it turns out. :D
it will be interesting. :D

Mistakes.

I could have potentially made a huge mistake.
or not,
it could be a liberating decision. its all so screwed up.
why are these things so difficult?

sadness prevails this time.

Pandora Radio.

I have just discovered Pandora radio on the internets, and I cant decide if I like it or not. They have good and bad days, I suppose. Check it out. :D
http://www.pandora.com/

favorite spot, maybe.

poems, poems.

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Im in a mood again.

Im in a mood again, and i think its beginning to be a regular thing.
Theres something that i have to do, and i dont like it, but after i think i'll be better for it. pains part of the learning process, i guess.
advice could be used.

the computer screen.

I will stare at the computer screen all night hoping someone will somehow hop through my screen and give me a hug.
I miss hugs given out randomly. I'd love one right now.

Sadly,

I dont have a camera, so i cannot take a photo of life on campus every day to force me to get into the blogging habit again, but i have been doing what i can with the camera on my computer... these things never really work out as i'd like them to.
Anyway,
Mariko's Observations of COLLEGE:
-you are an adult and have to wake up as such.
-your papers will suck just as much as the high school ones. just worse.
-dorm life is loud.
-everyone and their mothers uncle has a bike in college.
-you will have bad hair days. you just wont care.
-there will be a lush in the room/desk/stall next to yours.
-homework is assumed, not an optional thing....

also, drink lots of water. im dehydrated.
more later.

i miss...

I miss my cat.
I miss my friends.
I miss my bed.
I miss church.


Photo Courtesy of Pat Davison.